Fox News and Google are hosting a Republican presidential debate tonight. They’re letting people submit questions, and because they’re making the submissions public and letting the American public rally behind this, that or the other one, it has become a literal treasure trove of batshittery. I cannot recommend spending some serious time on that site enough. They range from demands that the candidates deal seriously with long-discredited chain e-mails, strange and vague rants about immigration and/or the EPA and, best of all, satirical questions demanding than John Huntsman get off the damn stage.
For shits and giggles, I’ve decided to answer a handful.
- A survivor question—If all the republican candidates were sent to a remote island in the south pacific to discuss the economy and jobs, which candidate would you vote off first and why?
First off, I’m going to pretend that your question makes a single lick of god damn sense. Second, I would vote myself off, because who in their right mind would want to be stuck on an island with Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain all day?
- I am concerned about the proposed RFID “chip” that will be required in 2013 under the new HR3200 Health REform Bill, the “Obamacare Bill”. Will the chip be made mandantory, or do we have the right to refuse it? What is your position on this? (ed note: RFID appears to stand for “radio frequency identification”)
- That’s ridiculous. Why would the federal government demand the implantation of a mind-control chip when water chlorination has proven equally successful and much more cost-effective over the years? Let’s be serious here.
- I would like to know the position that each candidate has on the United Nation’s Agenda 21 ( ICLEI, Reo+20) and it’s attempt to destroy the sovereign status of member states, including and specifically the United States of America.
Before we get down to brass tacks, may I offer you a cool, refreshing glass of American tap water?
-I have to buy my own water and food. My own shelter. My own car. Electronics if I want them… Why should people not pay for their own healthcare?
I don’t know. Why do you ask?
-If Eric Holder and President Obama are found to have knowledge of, and/or authorized operation “Fast and Furious” in order to circumvent the 2nd amendment and provide gun control “under the radar” as Obama said to Ms. Brady, would this be treason?
No, and I won’t stand for you dragged Florence Henderson’s good name through the muck!
- Do you support enacting laws to make English our official language and overturnng the executive order that mandates that state and local governments translate services into languages other than English at taxpayer expense?
Frankly, and impressed at the mental gymnastics you must have gone through to transform a xenophobic question into a economic one. And no.
What is your responsibility to the wife and children of the violent and brutally abusive man across the street that you know is beating them savagely? Can you describe how this informs your foreign policy decisions?
When he’s wailing on the kids, I support a two-state solution in Israel. When it’s the wife, I usually seek to engage Iran in multi-party negotiations.
Governor Perry, We built the Hoover Dam. The Egyptians built the great pyramids. Do you really think we can’t build a fence or are you just not serious about taking care of a core problem that is destroying America? Illegals cost us $338 billion/yr
Nothing I’ve seen in ‘merica in my 26 years has led me to believe that we can build a fence.
